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So lately Ive been really into watching One Tree Hill. Now I know how lame that must sound but I like the show. If you've ever seen it then you know Peyton Sawyer is obsessed with music. As I would like to say I am. But I know that Im not even close to the amount of music I want to know. So I have added a new goal to my list. I want to be able to say that music changed my life this summer. I want to discover more. I know with my project 365 blog that Ive kind of already doing this but I want to learn more than one song a day. I want to feel like I have a personal relationship with my music. I want to have a mood and be able to put on a song to match it.

So I have found two site to help me achieve this one is a list of 100 songs to save your life. This is something mention by peyton in and episode of One Tree Hill. The next is One Tree Hill Music. With these two sites it will help me to develop a broader spectrum of the music I listen to. One Tree Hill is known for the amount of music played and featured in it. And this playlist should help me discover music for my moods. Im hoping to make it through all 100 songs and through 2 episodes of music a day from OTH.

I do not have a prize set up for this goal because I think that just being able to music collection will will a prize in its self.


Other than Im not really feeling like anything today. Kinda pissed because I havent been getting called into work but watever. Im excited because in two weeks Im suppose to be going to see one of my friends for a week. That's majorly exciting.  I havent gotten to see her since school let out so it should be fun. And to see some other people who live around her form school that I miss also. It should be fun but that not for 2 weeks. Ugh

The problems me and Joel have been having have quieted down a bit but I wouldnt say there better. Weve discussed some stuff and fought a little bit. Weve kind of came to an understanding. It just all hurts alot. But I have to understand that hes 18 and he shouldnt be tied down to me just because I live with him. But he has to realize that I also not his slave Im his girlfriend and hes suppose to want to spend time with me. I feel like weve had this fight before. Weve had it over and over again. Everytime we come up with a solutionwe work on it for a few days and then it disappears again.


But anyways other than that not much to report I have read 630 pages so far which isnt that bad. This does not count the book I am currently reading. I dont see any physical sign of weight loss but Im working on it. I have been trying not to over eat. And my photography, well if you look at the other blog I went out two days ago and did another shoot that brings me to 3 so far this summer.

The Mixed Tape

Oh and i totally just noticed that on two of my blogs I posted the same song. So I have decided to post two songs today to make up for that.

Until The Day I Die

Updates Updates Updates.

So I am really bored right now. Im waiting so that I can go to the movies and out to dinner with my boyfriend our birthdays! Im really excited we never do anything just me and him. I mean technically this is only are second "date" the whole time we have been going out. I mean in a year and a half we should have went out more. I just want to spend time with him. I hate always having someone else around. SO anyways were going to see grown ups which looks like a really good movie and then to Applebees. I just wish the time would fly by so we could leave.


So on my goals. I read 70 more pages yesterday I am very close to 600 so far for the summer. I am currently reading Beautiful Dead by Eden Macguire if anyone cares. On my weight I went for a walk yesterday with my mom. And I have been trying to not eat all the junk food that I have been intaking lately. On my photography , I took like 3 good pictures yesterday. I do not know if I am considering that a shoot or not.

Todays seems to feel like its dragging on. Ive been sitting here for 15 minutes and it feels like ten years. I just want two hours to fly by but it wont because for once Im excited for something.  Alrighty well I havent eaten today so Im going to go get some food in me.

Kiss the Girl

June 23, 1991, I mean 2010

Today is my 19th birthday. Yay me. not. I worked today from 9-3 which wasnt bad it actually went pretty fast. Then I went to Starbucks and got a free drink. But now Im sitting at home alone because my boyfriend left. He told me hed be gone about a half hour maybe and hour tops to finish his work up. Its been two hours. I mean this is bullshit. I cant do much for my birthday in the first place because I have work at 8 tomorrow. but he could atleast be here, after he picked me up late from work. UGGGGGH.


Anyways I have decided to make some goals for myself. Thinking maybe if I actually post them on the internet I may follow them.

- Read 4,000 pages this summer. I have now read around 400 pages. Ill get an exact number when Im done with my current book.
             -I have no clue what a reward for this goal should be. I was thinking maybe buying some clothes. like one of these t shirts I really want but wont buy because there 36 dollars and I think thats insane for a t shirt.

-Next goal is to fit back into an 11 by the end of the summer. Ive gained alot of weight this summer and it really disappoints me. The way I eat in this house is horrendous. Now I know I said in one of my first postings I was going to eat better but I really need to now. I want to lose atleast 15-20 pounds by the end of the summer. So how am I going to do this well I will weight myself tonight and see how much I weight. I will not post how much I weight on the internet but I may post a picture.
                 -Then for every 5 lbs I lose I will post a picture of myself. I think for every 5 lbs I lose I may buy something little from hot topic, like jewelry or something. Now if I reach my goal I want to buy Kat Von D's new perfume and I will get new clothes. 

-My last goal is to have fun and do atleast 10 shoots this summer. I do not know with who or what, but I really want to do more. I have one completed so far. This goal includes my project 365's both my blog one and my actual account. I need to start posting pictures everyday whether there just photos of me or not.
                   - My goal for this is printing my pictures and making a portfolio with them so maybe I can find a job with them or just to have them nicely packaged.


So I have decided that these three things are very important to me this summer. They are all attainable goals this summer as long as I put in effort.  The hardest one will losing the weight. But I am sincerely going to try to lose it. I may slip and fall but I can always get myself back on track.

Always- Salvia 

This song has been stuck in my head all day!

Frustrated with these thoughts, now letting them build

I learned a very important lesson the other night. Im a jealous person. I hate it but I guess thats who I am. Im also a hypocrite. I feel bad for the things I said to him. I know that he would never cheat on me. but I feel like he doesnt care about me to spend time with me. But he will text these other girls. I know these girls and one lives forever away so I know thats not happening. But the other one he says is ugly and he would never like her as more than a friend and I believe him but everytime he gets a text from them hes texting them back right away. but I say I want to talk or speak to him and he forgets what I said 10 minutes later. I FEEL LIKE IM TALKING TO A WALL. or like Im talking to this blog. It funny how this blog is actually helping me relieve some of this now. I never thought Id be able to actually commit to it. But it has became my online journal of sorts.


Other than that I started my new job today its is slightly boring. I mean its not bad once I know the kids names and stuff it will get alot better but overall it wasnt bad at all.Long day for a girl who hasnt worked in forever and im now completely exhausted but Im dealing pretty well. They already gave me more hours for next week.Im excited about this job because its with children. I love to work with kids. I love to babysit, when I was younger I use to do it for free. Children are so fun to be around when you actually know what your doing with them. I think thats why I want to be a teacher.


Anyways click on my ads please! they make me money!

and check out my 365 blog , I think its getting interesting.  :)

Always - Saliva

peace

love 

and 

starbucks

-Sam

How I really feel

I feel like everytime we get close you pull away. I feel like everytime I have something to say you run. You never discuss anything. You leave me like I dont even matter. I dont get how this is far to me. I dont get why your always right and Im always wrong. I love you. I dont how else to say it. I LOVE YOU. you have my whole heart and nothing less. your everything to me. Think about it. I mean really think. I want nothing but you. But you have to want me to.You have want to be with me. You have to take me for who I am. Accept me. because I accept you. Your not the easiest person to get along with. Its not like you dont have baggage and things that I have to deal with for you. Someone would have left by now Im still here by your side. Im still here fighting for us. I still want us. But your not fighting anymore. What am I suppose to do when you stop fighting? AM I suppose to just give up. Thats not fair to me.  And as sit here crying knowing youll never read this, let alone the fact that no one will, I wonder if youll be in love with me the way I am with you. I love you more than anything never forget that.

Im going crazy....

So yesterday I went out with a friend and finally did some photography I havent done any in so long. I got some really nice shots of the hudson. It was amazing. Im never more happy then when my camera is in my hand. But it made me realize how much I really want a new camera. I really really would like to buy to a nice Nikon. I have a simple Cannon Powershot right now. Which isn't bad I mean, its good but the clarity of the pictures is never right. But I dont have 500 dollars to go and spend on a new camera. I need to buy other things and an expensive camera is not making the list. Its just so frustrating because I know I can be amazing but I need  a camera that can back my skills up. So anyways you can see the pictures I took either on my Facebook Fan Page or on My 365 blog.


Im really trying to just fit stuff in right now. I start work on Friday which is great but who knows how many hours Ill get.  Ugh I really just want to work so that I dont have to during school. But I really want to get this camera and external harddrive. I really want this stuff before I go to school. So I also applied to Price Chopper for a night job to get some extra money coming in and I hope I can make this all work and get the stuff I need for school but also the stuff I need for school. Im goign to have to work my butt off and not spend my money on anything childish or not in site of what I need.

I can never think of a title!

So I just got back from a weekend away from all the drama. Over all not a bad weekend. I went to Lake George for americade. Americade is also known as bike week. People from all over bring there motorcycles and drive in a big parade, its pretty cool. Unfortunately it was raining most of the weekend so my camera had to stay inside. I took a few regular photos but other than that the weekend was a bust photographically.

Today I have been up since 7 which is crazy for me. Ive been cleaning and doing laundry for most of that time. But have sat down and Im trying to find new music. Im listening to a few suggestions and so far Im not disappointed. Since I love music.

I had a job interview last week and that went well now I have to get a physical so I can start my new job. Im going to be working at a daycare as a substitute. So its basically when they need me. I also applied for a night job at Price Chopper. I know not so glamorous but Im thinking what happens if I get no hours during a week at the daycare, then I have made no money and I am in desperate need of money. So a few nights a week at Pc would not hurt.

So today though I have started a 365 project. Where you post one picture from each day for 365 days and it makes a photobook of sorts for the year. Its really a interesting idea but I took it one step forward and made a 365 blog. Where I post a picture, a quote, and a song(discovered that day). All pertaining to that day. I think this will make a creative blend of my year and really when I look back on it will show me.
 So other than all this Im really trying to post more often but I do not want to bore my readers( not like I have any).

Love will tear us apart - Joy Division

BLAHHHH

So I haven't posted in awhile. I have a job interview tomorrow which should be exciting. I really would like to get this job.I really need the money. Plus Im tired of sitting on my ass. I need to be doing something. I need to be motivated. Ive basically sat on my ass for the past month and that needs to change.


Other than that life has calmed down a little bit. Im not so spazzy anymore. I still cannot look at or talk to my boyfriends parents. I really hate living like this. I feel like Im always hiding. It is not fun. I feel really worn out and used most of the time. Im not sleeping at night anymore and it really sucks because I need to sleep at night. I have no clue how my interview is going to go if Im dead asleep. Hopefully tomorrow will help me get my normal sleeping pattern back. Im just kind of sick of not sleeping and then I sleep the whole day away and am up all night. No fun.

Well I guess this is all for now.

As for a song ummm here......Walkie Talkie man